Hey Guys. iv been feeling kinda apethetic lately. Its summer, theres nothing going on, nothing to look forword to, and pretty much lifes a bitch right now.
so, currently, im blasting music, (mcr-im not okay) as loud as possibal, to try to block out the sound of my mom and her rude, bitchy, horribal boyfriend fucking, ALLL around the fucking house. fun. =.= :'(
I dont want to go back to razors. that wasent a fun part of my life. nobody new about that. and nobody will, because nobody at all reads my blog. thats why im happy to vent here.
so, instead, i would some scissors. >:) so, i have loads of burn marks down my arms. i feel stronger, even though it makes me weaker.
also, whats the point in ever trying to be happy when the very pursuit of happiness is what makes you miserable?? so, ofcourse, theres this boy. he use to be my best friend. (oh how i miss him..) once middle school started, we seperated. iv been compleatly in love with him since i met him. i started talking to him around january, again. then texting. alot. then i made the stupid mistake of telling him i like him. oops. we still text alot. ALOT. i know so much about him, and he knows so much about me. but when i see him... like in real life =.=, he acts like we never met.
But he tells me he cares about me. i dont belive him, but i still listen to him, and i always will. Sometimes if you love someone so much, it will actually hurt more.
Ive never felt that been valued by anyone. Im just a waste of space that everyone ignores, like a ghost without a home. I feel so alieanated.
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